4:20 Baseball Preview The baseball season is nearly three weeks old and you’re probably wondering why I haven’t posted my baseball preview blog yet. Well, it’s because I’ve been saving it for this special day. Now, let me present the 10 storylines of the 2007 Baseball Season, so far, with a little help from Bob Marley: 1. "No need - no need - no need to get jumpy, And-a no need - and-a no need to walk away. Let me tell bout ya: Cool runnings, can you dig it? Cool runnings: it's one more time we want it; Cool runnings … Spread out, Spread out, Spread out … It's just a Blackman Redemption." To the star of the Khalil Greene All-Stars (my fantasy baseball team) and New York Yankee third baseman, Alex Rodriguez. After getting mercilessly booed by Yankee fans over the past three or so seasons (despite being one of the best offensive players in baseball) A-Rod has a chance to opt out of his contract after this season. And of course -- in true A-Rod form, he’s off to a great start hitting his 10th homerun of the season on Thursday to win the game for the Yankees. Of course everything will get boiled down to how he does in October. My guess is, he hits 50+ homeruns, drives in 150 runs, wins the MVP award, does well in the playoffs and then opts out of his contract to sign with another team, further infuriating Yankee fans. It would be a perfect ending to a truly dysfunctional relationship. 2. "There’s a natural mystic blowing through the air. If you listen carefully now you will hear. This could be the first trumpet, might as well be the last: Many more will have to suffer, many more will have to die - Dont ask me why. Things are not the way they used to be…" To Barry Bonds and Gary Matthews Jr. Two players who are embedded into the steroid debacle that doesn’t seem to end. Right now the only way this thing could end logically is if Bonds said, "OK, I took steroids. Everyone took steroids. So I took it too" and MLB saying, "We totally fucked this thing up. Everyone was on steroids." Anything short of those two statements and this thing will drag on for years. Look at Pete Rose. The guy lied himself into non-existence. Everyone should just say they screwed up and be done with it already. 3. "So if you are the big tree… We are the small axe… Ready to cut you down. To cut you down." To the Tampa Bay Devil Rays who have such an awesome collection of young talent (that includes Carl Crawford, Rocco Baldelli, BJ Upton, Dimitri Young’s brother, Elijah Dukes, and Scott Kazmir) that they’d have a chance to make it to the World Series if they were in the NL. Unfortunately they play in the same division as the Yankees, Red Sox and Blue Jays so fourth place finish -- ahead of the Orioles -- would be an accomplishment. 4. Now you get what you want, do you want more? You think it's the end, But it's just the beginning. You think it's the end, but it's just the beginning. To Bruce Bochy and Barry Zito. Both guys wanted to get paid this off season and both signed huge contracts with the Giants. Unfortunately they’re joined by over the hillers Ray Durham and Omar Vizquel, some Padre retreads (Ryan Klesko, Mark Sweeney, Rich Aurilla, and Dave Roberts), will have to deal with Barry Bonds questions all year, and will probably finish last in the NL West. But hey, at least they got paid. And with nothing else to say, here are three thoughts on April 20: 1. Radio music is always great. Songs about drugs = Good Songs 2. I like the inuendos. One year, when I was working in La Jolla, the following exchanged happened: Someone in the office: ... huh, huh, huh today is 4-20. Me: (Blank stare on my face) Same person: You know, because 4:20 means smoking pot Me: (Blank stare, looking like I don't know what they're talking about) Comedy at it's highest. 5. I feel so high, I even touch the sky Above the fallin' rain! I feel so good in my neighborhood, So: here I come again! To one of my favorite active players (although he totally screwed over my fantasy team last year), Manny Ramirez. After another off-season where he demanded a trade, and the Red Sox actively shopped him to other teams (what is it, three years now?) Manny is back for another season with the Red Sox. This after a winter that saw Manny try to sell his condo in the Ritz Carlton Boston, try to skip out on Spring Training to appear at a car show, and try to pimp a grill on e-bay. What a nut! And if that’s not entertaining enough, check out this article about Manny in the New Yorker. 6. Keep on knockin', but you can't come in. I get to understand you been livin' in sin. But walk right in, woman, sit right down. I will keep on lovin' you; I play the clown. But bend down low, baby, let me tell you what I know. To Tony La Russa --who managed my favorite teams when I was a kid, the Mark McGwire-Jose Canseco Oakland A’s. We always hear about players getting caught for DUIs, but during Spring Training, Cardinal manager Tony La Russa got popped after he got boozed up and fell asleep at the wheel. Check out his picture when he got booked. La Russa’s so drunk he’s probably thinking he got arrested by a pink elephant: 
7. Here comes the conman coming with his con plan. We won't take no bribe; We've got [to] stay alive. We gonna chase those crazy - Chase those crazy baldheads - Chase those crazy baldheads out of the town. To Sandy Alderson, Kevin Towers and the rest of the San Diego Padre front office. They’ve promised the sun and the moon and have given us crap for the past three seasons. In my baseball heyday I used to watch/listen to 90-95 percent of the Padre games. Now, they are so unbelievably boring that I can’t even watch them for anymore than two or three innings a night. 1-0 and 3-2 games are only fun to watch when you know there’s a chance your team can score more than two or three runs. If they Padres are down by more than a couple of runs the game is pretty much over so why bother watching? And it’s remarkable the crap the Padre front office is blowing up our asses. First it was get as a ballpark, then it was wait until some contracts expire, now it’s the market is overpriced. I’m so fed up with the Padres, I’m only planning on going to three more games this season. After that, that’s it. And I hope to God that people stop going to PetCo. Why spend $80-$125 on crap? Maybe if fans stop coming the Padres will be forced to improve their product. Then again, it may just be another excuse. 8. Every time I hear the crack of a whip my blood runs cold. I remember on the slave ship how they brutalize the very souls. Today they say that we are free, only to be chained in poverty. Good God, I think it's illiteracy; It's only a machine that makes money. Slave driver, the table is turn, y'all. To Carlos Zambrano and the Cubs. The Cubs spent money like a drunken sailor this offseason and Zambrano, their best player, who’s a free agent after this year is looking to get a huge payday. Compounding the problem is that the Chicago Tribune just got sold and the new owners have said they’re going to sell the Cubs. This story line should get interesting if the Cubs are out of contention and look to shop Zambrano. I’ll tell you this, if the Yankees or Red Sox get Zambrano that team is going to win the World Series. 9. Talkin' blues, talkin' blues: Your feet is just too big for your shoes. Yeah, I've been down on the rock for so long, I seem to wear a permanent screw; I've been down on the rock for so long, (so long) I seem to wear a permanent screw. But-a I - I'm gonna stare in the sun. Let the rays shine in my eyes. I'm a gonna take a just-a one step more 'Cause I feel like bombin' a church - Now - now that you know that the preacher is lyin'. To the Los Angeles Dodgers. They haven’t won crap in so long yet are still being touted as division favorites. The talking heads never learn. This year they signed Jason Schmidt who’s already on the DL and joins Dodgers like Rafael Furcal, Jeff Kent, Kevin Brown, Eric Davis and Darryl Strawberry as "players who get hurt in their first season with the Dodgers." I haven’t said this in a long time so I’ll say it now: Last night I made a list of my 100 top enemies. I wrote ‘the Dodgers’ 100 times. 10. Ambush in the night, All guns aiming at me; Ambush in the night, they opened fire on me now. Ambush in the night, Protected by His Majesty.
To the most disappointing story of the season so far, Felix Hernandez. F-Her was un-hittable in his first two starts. I don’t think he gave up a run, he had a no hitter going against the Red Sox, and only two players hit the ball out of the infield against him. But unfortunately for all of us, he left his third start with a strained elbow. Some guys just have the worst luck. But today is no day to for that kind of talk. Today is time to sit back, relax, and smoke one good spliff. You know, if you’re sick and need medical marijuana. | 
